X-RAY VISION

So, sitting in a fancy new Burger King, eating some fries, Spike notices the big flat-screen TV high up on the wall.

None other than George W Bush is on the screen, murmuring away in that patronizing way of his.

Spike asks me if that is the news on the TV.

I tell him yes, and to remember that guy on there, because he is a bad guy.

Spike wants to know what he does.

I tell him that the guy is just a bad guy and does lots of bad stuff.

He stares at the screen for a couple of minutes, watching Bush wave his hands and smirk.

Then Spike tells me he's a bad guy because his face comes off and there is a robot underneath.

SCHOLAR AT WORK

Spike putting the final touches on his response to the Eichmann Law of Universal Uncertainty.

The ELUU states, of course, that "no predictable outcome will ever follow any set order of things, even if said things are identical in all measurable ways".

Spike's response, the Statement of Speed Superiority and Unshakable Faith, denounces that claim.

The SSSUF postulates that "the good guys always win".

The SSSUF will be published simultaneously in the upcoming Journal of Scientific Advancement (Spring 2006 volume), the New Yorker (April 2006 issue) and independently by Spike's own vanity press, All-Consuming Eye Books (initial run of 500 signed and numbered hardcovers, June 2006 release date).